Folks, the fourth day of the challenge almost broke me. I ended the day an exhausted, broken woman who honestly questioned what she was doing with her life.
Why I’m putting this online, I’ll honestly never know… but here’s what happened on Friday.
4:50 – Yes! It’s the rare day when I’m actually frighteningly awake when I should be! I’m not going to squander this!
5:20 – … OK, why did I tell myself all of that and then immediately fall asleep again?
5:30 – Well, I haven’t even sat down at my computer, and I’m already disappointed in myself. I got a late start on a project for one of my favorite clients, and I forgot that I wanted to finish it by 9:00am tomorrow.
5:31: But that shouldn’t be a problem, right? I’ve got a ton of cleaning and chores left to do, so I’ll be able to knock out the physical exercise requirement in no time. Plus, I found a really trashy book I’ve been meaning to read when I was cleaning up, so I’m going to have a BLAST doing the reading section. I just need to write the full 2,000 words now, so I’ll be able to knock out the rest of the requirements when I get home. Then I’ll have at least five hours to finish up the client stuff.
5:32 – I just need to find a story idea that isn’t too over developed, so I can write out a bit of an exposition dump. I’ve got twenty ideas on the docket to be worked on. This should be easy!
6:00 – Blast it, I jinxed myself.
6:10 – I’ve been staring at all my banked story ideas for forever, and the only one that’s clicking is an old fanfic idea that I had forever ago.
6:15 – WHY DO I HATE THEM ALL WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DO I HATE THEM ALL AAAAAAAGHHHH
6:20 – I’ve got to get ready in less than an hour, and the guidelines (my guidelines, but still) only stated that it has to be ‘fairly clean’ prose, rather than a story outline of a synopsis. Every writer’s guide I’ve ever read has said that it’s the act of writing everyday that makes us better writers, not churning out instant classic masterpieces every single time. I just need to pick an idea, ANY IDEA, and just start working.
6:21 – WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING?
6:22 – OK. You know what? I’m desperate. I’d rather smash two licensed characters together in an effort to make them kiss than forfeit the challenge. Today I’m choosing to work on the fanfic. Let’s see how far I get.
7:06 – IN LESS THAN AN HOUR? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!
7:14 – AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHIHATEEVERYTHINGAAAAAAGGGGHHHH
7:15 – Start making breakfast and getting ready.
8:30 – Leave the house for the day.
3:00 – Pick up takeout on the way home, so I can get right into writing.
5:00 – Still stuffing my face and watching YouTube videos.
6:00 – OK, I’m ready to rock and roll. I just need to get my 30 minutes of chores done before I post…
6:01 – … I forgot I had to write a blog post about today.
6:02 – And yesterday. Two blog posts. BLAST IT.
7:35 – OK, one blog post is done, the other is ready to go for tomorrow. Once I’m done with the final spell check / proofread, I’m going to get everything uploaded and finally finish the chores.
8:05 – OK, chores are done. Now I just need to start reading.
8:10 – Aaaaany second now.
8:30 – Finally! OK, now time to read my super trashy book with trashy statues on the title and a delightfully scandelous premise.
8:35 – Wait. Did this book about courtesans and whorehouses throughout historical Europe turn into a family travel vlog? Are there TODDLERS in this?
8:45 – No, seriously what the hell is this? There was no indication on the back cover OR the review snippets OR the brief passage I read before I purchased this thing, that this tawdry tale would include a middle aged man dragging small children around tourist spots and trying to teach good manners to a bunch of preschool assholes.
8:50 – I’m still reading, but I can’t help but be mad about this. Why would you bring your kids to whorehouse museums? Why would your wife insist on joining you? Why are you not stopping your kids from running around and whacking historical artifacts with sticks?!
8:55 – No, I didn’t judge a book by it’s cover. I judged a book by marketing designed to sell it to it’s desired audience. Which sucks on toast. No wonder I found this asshole in the discount aisle at my favorite used bookstore.
9:00 – I am honestly so irritated right now that I’m going to watch YouTube videos for a bit to calm down. I’m just going to watch one or two before I head upstairs to get started. After all, it’s not like I’m going to pass out or somet-